About Me

I've always been overweight. I remember my mom telling me that when I was born my grandmother picked me up and said she'd never felt such a "full" baby. Elementary school was horrible, I had to buy juniors plus clothes when I was 8 or 9. Then my mom had to take them home and hem them because I definitely was not a junior yet. Middle school was more of the same except I moved from juniors to Old Navy short. 

5th grade-ish

We ran the mile as apart of a gym class requirement and I walked the entire thing. I don't even think I tried to run, I just know it wasn't fun, it made my lungs hurt and it made me sweat. From toddlerhood until this time I had actually been relatively active. I took tap, ballet and jazz. I figure skated, took swim lessons and tennis lessons (not all at once, but throughout my years I was doing at least two at a time). But my eating habits were terrible. 
My father was overweight. We ate at McDonalds at least once a week. After church school we would stop at a gas station and I would get a large hotchocolate, to which I would add two or three chocolate creamers, and a chocolate pie. On snow days or holidays from school Dad and I would hit up the Chinese buffet. This was also the time I stopped being so involved in my extracurricular activites. 
When I was 13 my mom and I started going to weight watchers. She had to get a special doctors note for me to be able to attend. I went to one meeting. Thinking I was a pro I would eat 0 point foods all day then spend my alloted points (which was a lot because of my age) eating cookies, chocolate, icecream...

Right before I got pregnant

This was about the time I went to talk to a nutritionist. She asked me what I did for exercise  My answer? I walked home from school (it was about a half a mile). She asked me is I liked any vegetables. I liked cucumbers. That's it. That is all I remember saying. So I would eat cucumbers ALL DAY LONG. Then I would eat junk AGAIN.
High school was when I kind of yo-yo'ed. I learned how to lose weight. Diet pills? Detoxing? Liquid diets? Laxatives? Did it all, always gained it back. After I finished school my father passed of a massive heart attack, mainly due to his eating and smoking habits (though the year before his passing he'd made a real change in his life. My doctor then put me on cholesterol medicine. 
Trying to see it as turning point, I lost a bit of weight, then I got pregnant at 19. I shot up to 260lbs. I had pre-eclampsia and gestational diabetes. All of this I attributed to my weight. I was about 230lbs postpartum  I'd always been big, but I'd never seen the scale over 200. 
After getting out of a bad relationship I through myself into working out. I mean dove head first. I woke up at 5am and drove a half an hour to do a body combat class. Then after dinner I'd go to Zumba. I was working out over two hours a day. Then I got injured. I hyper extended my knee (at my 6am workout) and was terrified of anything else. I went to Zumba once after and pretty much just stood there afraid of further injuring myself. Then I gained the weight back.
So here I am, once again trying to get my life back on track. What is my motivation this time? 

Me, Bee, Jay, Boyfriend

I have a three year old and my boyfriend has a seven year old. Most mornings it is too hard to pick them up. Jay (boyfriends 7 year old) always wants to play tag while waiting for the school bus in the morning, but two minutes in I'm wiped. And she is developing bad habits as well. I want to be a source of inspiration for her. And Bee (my vibrant little three year old) has so much energy throughout the day. I want to be able to WALK with her to the park and still have enough energy to play with her when we get there.

So this is how I know I will succeed this time. I have two of the most important people in my life depending on me. I had a doctors appointment this week and after 11 consecutive weeks of fixing my diet and exercising she took me off of my cholesterol medicine. What I'm doing is not only helping them, but it is helping me be around for them! And I couldn't be happier.